Sunday, Sept. 30, 2007 By JEFF KINGSTON
Special to The Japan Times
There are two words for masturbation in Japanese. Masculine and feminine. The difference is a zero. Mr Jeff Kingston deserves his own private word for it: yonju-zuri.
Just like Abe Kobo's box man in the cardboard box , he boxes himself in with "difficult", rare, selected words and expressions mixed with some American political lingo/slang and after 40 such verbal flic flac, he reaches climax with a barrage about suspected war criminal descendant P. M. Shinzo Abe garnished with a god measure of young Korean women, among others, sent to front-line brothels ......force teenagers into prostitution........ wartime misdeeds.....abduction of tens of thousands of Koreans....Japanese imperialism.....grandfather, Nobusuke Kishi, suspected Class A war criminal.
It takes him five pages to unload the intended simple statement that I do not like Shinzo Abe and just in case of emergency he prepares big daddy's pocket hideaway by quoting Gerald Curtis, a professor of political science at Columbia University in New York, and one of America's most distinguished Japan-hands so that if he is caught in 40-zuri, he can say: "Gerald Curtis is doing it too." For those readers who like dictionaries here is the content of Jeff Kingston's yonju-zuri:
unmitigated, ignominious, penchant, staccato, fuddy-duddy, beguiling, geeky, weeny, hubris, admonished, callous, imbroglio, contrition, tawdry tale, sanguinary rampage, nattered, exonerated, placate, give kudos, precipitous, out of synch with public opinion, roughshod, moniker, lukewarm pizza sorta guy, profligate, modicum, policy wonks, overarchingly, obstinately, riddance, elicit, indelibly, buffoonish, lampooning his tightwad ways, travails, implosion, derisory, effrontery, slam-dunk, put the onus...
We only looked up a few and decided to let Yonjuzuri-sensei keep playing with himself.
Abe Kobo's box man at least has the decency to wait with masturbating until he is finished with his cardboard box. Getting it off with the www.thefreedictionary.com does not mean becoming a scholastic and master dialectical reasoning.
In Yonjuzuri-sensei’s case that will take an other four- six generations.
by Gabor Fabricius
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